@alexink waking up on Sunday I could feel the weight of my heart, of what had happened to my marriage and family, of my actions (or inaction) that contributed to the eventual divorce. I physically woke up that morning, but also mentally woke up with a clarity that I haven’t had in what feels like forever. I missed her, I felt terrible for what had happened, I wanted to reconcile and try again…we have been divorced now for two years, separated in January of 2021, a deep chasm forming at the end of 2019. Not since before then have I felt anything for her, love turned to resentment. I have had so much work to do on my own heart these past 4 years but never felt the need to (and so did nothing), did not recognize my faults in the marriage, pointed everything at her. That changed when I woke up on Sunday and I’m not sure why. But I feel an odd sense of direction right now that is not selfish (for once). I know exactly what I need to do, and why, and am taking steps toward those changes. We had our first honest conversation about all of this Sunday afternoon and for the first time in a while I have some sense of hope.

Sorry…long answer.